Appropriate behavior for a 9 year old girl? Makeup, dying hair, ripped jeans?

I have a 9 year old daughter that attends a very competitive school in a city of 70K. She is in 4th grade. In her class, about HALF of the girls have started wearing makeup. They are wearing eyeshadow, blush, with lip gloss and mascara. Many of the girls have been dying their hair and getting highlights. The girls are wearing ripped jeans with tights underneath. Some of the girls have started having ';boyfriends';. I am appalled by this behavior from these little girls. I CAN'T BELIEVE that their parents are encouraging this! Luckily, my daughter thinks it is as ridiculous as I do. Am I just out-dated, or, should our little girls be little girls as long as they can? WHAT is the rush to have them putting chemicals on their heads and painting their faces like clowns? WHY- oh WHY would a parent rush to make her child look ';grown up';? Don't they grow up too quickly already? What about protecting from pedophiles? Isn't it more important to developing a person- not an image at 9?Appropriate behavior for a 9 year old girl? Makeup, dying hair, ripped jeans?
I'm sure our mothers said the same thing.Appropriate behavior for a 9 year old girl? Makeup, dying hair, ripped jeans?
I agree with you, a 9 years old is still a little girl and should act and dress as such.
Good for you and good for you daughter.
I like your attitude, Mom! The girls are being sexualized way too young, and I find it really hard to believe other moms actually encourage this.


Girls at that age - maybe light gloss on the lips, but that's it. It's so stupid to dye their hair that young (though a great option to get them through a 'stage' is spray on stuff, like you get at Hallowe'en, to give them a streak of color).


Just have your girl be a girl. The other ones are really going to be in trouble.... and their moms will wonder why they'll have such huge self-esteem issues as teens!
i would move to another city and a different school system before your daughter becomes a statistic. i have a nine year old and she is lucky if i let her wear chap stick!!!! u are in the right!
You are absolutely right and should be aplauded for your efforts to keep your children exactly that- children! My 10 year old sees what the other children wear when we go out- luckily at school, they have to wear uniforms! She has questioned on occasion why she can't do certain things or wear certain attire and we have always responded with the fact that 1st and formost, she is OUR child and we must do what we feel is appropriate! If other parents allow their children to dress a certain way, then so be it. We have also mentioned the fact that when little girls or even women dress a certain way, they are attracting negative attention! Luckily, she too agrees with modesty and dressing appropriately. It is an ongoing issue I believe in our society. We can't shelter them from everything but it is great that we can use others as a teaching moment! As far as ';boyfriends'; my 10 year old thinks its crazy as well and does not participate in it. Thank goodness most of the children at school she is friends with focus on school and learning, not boys! My 10 year old still enjoys playing with dolls, as she well should!
i am 24 years old and i feel the same as you~little girls are having babies younger and younger, and they look much older than they are, parents need to let their kids be kids, when i was in the 4th grade i still played with barbie dolls, i never thought about dying my hair and stuff, there are a lot of freaks out there this days and parents need to pay attention to that. i have a 2 year old little girl and it scares me to death
I think that you are 100% correct. Young girls shouldn't be doing those things my parents and my rule is no make up or boys until you are 16 beacuse then you are responsible enough to think on your own and know limits better.
That sounds too grown up for me. Maybe at 14 it would be more appropriate. Now if I told you what the nuns at my school would have done to us if we did that...In that school girls in high school were ONLY allowed to wear eyeliner, we had uniforms, enough said. I'd have to wait and see what my daughter will be doing at age 9, she's 3 now...
Weel i think thats pshin it a litlle bit... my daugter is int he sixth grade and she weras only blush in th ewinter when her skin turns pale white.. cover up fo rpimples, and zits , an lipgloss. she does infact have ripped jeans i see nothing r\wrong with them as long as long as they are appropert aka in the knees. Well as to dying hair i say that is a big NONO NO thats not good. highlights are okay as long as they look natural and not look trashy like pink or blonde if they have black hair. My daughter has no need for highlights .. she has natural blonde highlights. Well i know that when my daughter was in the forth grade she did not have a boyfriend but did have a chrush on a boy .. but no boyfriend. now i think chrushes are okay and i exspet that. I now that in her fith grade class a think two grl snad a boy had grlfriends and boyfriends. i think let her exleast have lipgloos and a pair of knee ripped jeans .. if you a prove.. but lay down the laws .. no boyfriend no datin til she is mature and you trust her.. no heavey make up til you think she is old anoff. And give her some cover up when her skins starts to blumish.. if that even happens to her. So that s is all i think
To each their own.Yes,painfully ridiculous.As appropriate as a great-grandmother wearing lip gloss and an intolerably short mini-skirt .Everyone is to blame(their parents,teachers,the media and...Barbie) except the attention-craving 9 year old girls.


And no you are not morally old-fashioned.Common sense never goes out of date.





BTW,I think sometimes(gross though it is) this is a false alarm, sometimes a real alarm.I don't wear make-up.If mom had really cared,she would have noticed the'whateverhedesires'look in her daughter's eyes.
I realize that girls are starting the whole makeup thing earlier today than their parents did, but 9 is really pushing even that standard. But unfortunately for those girls, we can educate their parents or make them see how wrong it is.
Your right. Society is increasingly forcing kids to 'grow up' quicker than is necessary. When I say grow up I mean traiavlities such as image, possesions, etc... are catered for and emotional well being is not. You sound like a good, caring mother. Just make sure she is well looked after.
very inappropriate behavior for children this age. parents are letting kids grow up to fast. its disgusting. ur not out dated at all. u are right. im glad ur daughter is as smart as you. cherish the time u have with her as a child. soon enough she will be a teenager
i believe this is why we have teen mothers.they want to grow up so fast without realising the consequences.(not saying anything about your daughter,just speaking in general).my daughter will not be allowed to use make-up until her quincenera(15 birthday-also no high heels as in the Mexican culture a girl become a woman at this age and dances her first dance with her father then changes her flats to high heels)9 is way too young for make -up.i have walked around in the stores and have seen the clothes for young girls have have been like ';isn't this way too mature for a girl that young?this store should not even stock these for young/misses.';even my husband agrees.he also agrees that is why so many young girls and teens are made mothers.as if you look like your ready and try to act like you are ready a guy will not care much as to age.(most guys) it is appalling to me that stores will manufacture and sell these items to children.
Well my school is deff. not like that but I think that sometime girls have to grow up. I wouldn't expect this age to be 9 though. but my mom deff. had a hard time with me growing up. If your town is with a lot of pedophiles I would be more concerned or sometimes its there moms who do all this and just like make there daughters practically like them. but I don't think this is that bad. There could be worse.
I didn't start most of that until like 12 or 13. I think possibly the light makeup, lip gloss and eyeliner, is all a younger girl should use. And ripped jeans? At least they wear tights underneath but I would give her a rule of no rips above the fingertips. Thats what most schools do. Also tell her dying her hair is damaging and what they use to do highlights is meant to partially destroy the hair.





And the boyfriends... have a conversation with her about boys her age. They play with childrens toys! No boy is mature enough for any kind of romantic relationship until at least 14 or 15. Plus tell her that if she does get a bf you WILL be meeting them and having a sex talk. If its too embarrassing for them, they shouldn't try to act more grown up than they are.
No this behavior is what causes teen moms if she doesn't like than don't force I'm 14 and have never had a bf and don't plan on it until college SO protect her for as long as possible
wow. wow. I am speechless. NO A NINE YEAR OLD SHOULD NOT WEAR MAKE UP, RIPPED JEANS, OR ANYTHING ELSE!!!!! I totally agree with you. Wow. WOW. What kinda parents are enforcing that!!! Boyfriends!!!! OMGOSH. I can understand that kids want to act more mature but.... Also... I wore CLEAR LIP GLOSS WHEN I WAS 12.
i think the pants ARE FINE !;;


the hair is FINE..just hair;;


makeup is fine! it just enhances;;


and to them boyfriends is two ppl


that like each other and are friends


and call each of there bf/gf
NO!!!
That's awful. Fortunately the girls in our school aren't starting that yet - and I would never let my daughter dress that way or wear make-up that young. People will definitely see them as ';older'; and they just aren't emotionally ready to deal with that at that age.
I have a 9 year old too. and I feel the same way. let them be kids while they can.
Dont worry, youre def. not overreacting. I drive by the middle school on my way to work and some of those 13 year old girls are dressed like H**kers. I cant believe it, and I always wonder where their parents are.





It is good you are raising your daughter into a young lady.
Well...I actually think this happens a lot in 4th grade. i wore lip gloss like smackers but nothing else so i see your point there...i had blonde highlights but got them removed but i dont think that was a big deal and we didnt have boyfriends or ripped jeans with tights or leggings or whatever. thats bad haha at leaset your daughter doesn't. :]
You are doing the right thing, as is your daughter, unfortunately, you WILL be in the minority from this point on. For some reason, the sexualization of very young girls has become acceptable among the upper middle class and above. These same parents who buy these types of clothing, allow boy/girl sleepover parties and encourage this kind of behavior will be the same ones who are absolutely ';shocked'; that their 11 year old Brittany or Tiffany is engaging in oral sex parties after school while parents are at work.





My advice is that you not give into the peer pressure and continue raising a healthy young girl into a healthy womanhood. One who will not end up cutting herself, drugging herself, engaging in promiscuous sex or performance sex, starving her body or any of a number of things that so many of today's girls use show their self-loathing, even though they are unable to express it in words.
i remember they had little makeup kits for little kids like that and the lipstick was like candy and the other stuff was gum. That's way too young and they don't need to get the allergies from the stuff. What will the makeup industry come up with next? Take care.